Monday, April 11, 2005

After school today I took the boys to IKEA cos I wanted to get a hanging rail (the new cleaner/domestic help coming tomorrow for trial run this week, twice a week) and I got told I cant get a big trolley to put the boys in cos it's only for kids up to 8mths old (its the one wt the baby seat in it, I put them behind it). So I got rather shirty wt her, saying well, Im on my own wt two toddlers and Im over 8mths pregnant, I cant take the other kind of trolley on my own! she didnt even apologise, just shrugged like she didnt care and walked off! I was like GEEEEEZ... so I had to take the boys out, we had to go ALL the way around downstairs to find the trolley and then go around again! Getting lunch was an adventure, a staff member finally came fwd to help wt the trolley (after being told to by someone else) and then left it (and kids) at the checkout counter! I was like urm, what u want me to eat at the counter?! its not like my tray is gng to disappear?! lol anyway boys were ok, and then we went shopping and then at the carpark, I was like hmm.. shld I get the rather bored-looking young man to look after me trolley whilst I get boys etc in car and drive the long way around to get there (for two plastic bags and one hanging rail in a box which weighed nothing really). so I told him cld u carry these for me, my car is only there.. He was like.. err... walk? So I said well if I cld do it myself, I wouldnt have asked you right? He took a few mins to figure out how to carry the items! I was like GEEEZ, two plastic bags in one hand (they only had pillows in em for goodness sake) and the hanging rail in other, ez! and ok we got to the car and then he took a while to figure out how to put them into the boot! Im like AIYOOOOO its not rocket science and I didnt hv enough items to warrant such thought leh.. my boys thanked him cheerily as they climbed into the car and I belted them in.. he smiled and walked off, back to his bored expression. I tells you, I really feel like saying the younger generation just cant think out of the paper bag over their head. if u see someone that needs help, esp since you WORK THERE, u just stand arnd and look duhh and stare at them, like oh, ok.. SMACK em!

Admittedly Im cranky and tired but generally its been oklah, just hv to whinge abt that.. I wrote a long complaint and popped it into the suggestion box, not sure it wld work but I just HAD to complain leh... I tell you, Im getting quite militant abt it these days, normally I'd complain to me mates and thats abt it, but Im like GEEZ, I dont always hv someone to help me, and eventually I will hv three kids of diffr ages (well sorta). The IKEA staff kept saying to me, oh dont u hv ur maid wt you? Im like I DONT BLARDY hv one!!! Then they give u this funny look.. like.. Im so.. odd... LOL (shakes her head in disbelief).

I mean ya'd think that a western company (well.. Im assuming leh) wld think that there will be those mothers on their own or even disabled ppl ya know? Imagine having to go thru all the rigmarole by urself, in a wheelchair, esp since now they've put up ropes to cordon off the food area! Im like WHAT ON EARTH FOR?!?!! I cld hardly get the trolley there, imagine a stroller or a wheelchair, I had to physically move the "bollards" or poles or whatever they area in order to get things arnd.. yet another complaint form gets dropped in.. hehehehehee If I was a disabled person, how leh.. Terrible I reckon.. I mean its hard enough trying to get a stroller arnd the dang place, mutter mutter..

ok I quit whinging now LOL my back is killing me as always and I think I shld go to bed earlier today, boys will be up early tomorrow I shld imagine. I wish I cld go and see Lin and alex but Im assuming they'd check out soon and I dont know where sunway med centre is and I will go with don to see them over w.end, if this baby doesnt decide to come then (yeah, right). Not sure when parents are back in KL yet tho. Oh well. I think ppl hv given up on guessing dates already LOL Being on standby also dang boring already hahahahahhahaa

right then, onwards to the boys blog, if I hv any energy left. Mischief makers.. lol

later days

Heres another one of jenn's thought provoking articles. To a degree, I can really relate to how she is feeling. (err, minus the having to work part, I dont know how she does it). Many a time I get frustrated at hubby's inability to spot things that need doing, like walking past a whole bucket of laundry to be taken downstairs, or Ive asked him to take something downstairs for me and he's forgotten, nemind its not TWO minutes... Thats prob why I end up doing it all myself sometimes, cos I just couldnt b bothered to wait LOL Giving him his dues, he does pitch in an awful lot, more than a LOT Of husbands/partners/fathers and he changes the kids, feeds em, waters em.. although I know its hard for him sometimes with work and all and he WANTS to chill out. I dont blame him. Its hard, esp after the long commute, having to deal wt work or idiots at work etc and I guess this IS a common complaint wt parents, albeit one is a stay at home parent and one works or both work etc.

When Jenn and I recently talked abt husbands etc (as wives are wont to do LOL), I remember saying I tend to TELL him what to do cos if I waited for him to do something off his own bat sometimes, I'd be forever waiting LOL and it is hard to find a balance cos everyone wants some TIME out to themselves to do things that they wanna do, not cos they HAVE to. And being a stay at home parent (or a work at home parent), it's very very hard to find that time w.o the help of a support system of some kind, whether it be grandparents, friends, partner etc. Ive done less than I normally do this time, being so heavily pregnant (haha, some good thing I guess LOL) and things have been really really crazy for us of late and I guess he feels the frustration of not hvng any time to himself and with the boys being so demanding, attention-wise or acting up cos of whatever reason, it can get to ya, boy do I know this.. sometimes I feel like saying to him well, this is my day, every day, all day, w.o stopping (except when they r asleep) but I dont (well, not always lol). Ive had moments of resentment, much as I love being a mummy and with my kids. am also human I guess, hv to lor.. but when your kiddies come up to you and plant a sloppy kiss on ur head or whatever's available, elbow keh, cheek, forehead, and say to you "Mummy! I love you too!" it sure does help you get thru those harder days. Soppy soppy me! LOL

With no:3 coming along, its gng to be nutso LOL but that is the choice we made, and we will be glad of it too although admittedly there will be times I do wonder LOL anyways, just had to write something abt what Jenn said and I can so relate to what kinda day she's been thru sometimes..I tend to get rather sarcastic when these things happen, which isnt always the best way I know LOL Anyways, the good thing is that we TALK abt it, whether its good or bad things, criticism or complaints. Its better than storing it up inside and building up resentment. I like to think it will help my boys b better men in the future that they can SEE daddy and mummy doing non-traditional things. Like daddy talks abt how he feels, daddy does domestic things arnd house, cook, clean whatever.. And mummy also assembles furniture, sorts out her car, whatever.. rather than "oh wait till a man comes and saves me!" don said to me the other day, even if we hv a daughter (fingers crossed for No4 hahaha), he hopes that she will be unafraid to put pictures up, sort out a flat tyre etc etc w.o doing the whole "oh I must wait for a man to do that for me!" routine. (which I think really annoys him LOL). I figure with her mum being the way she is and three older brothers, she'd hv a good chance of nt being like that.. Mind u, with my luck, she prob will ROFL

waahh sound so philosophical hor.. There was an article in the newspaper once that made me laugh (I think its one of Kevin Cowherd's ones, cant remember now). It talked abt how men can only single process, one thought at a time, only one thing on their mind. Its very true in many respects. Thats why I either write things down for hubby to do so he can tick it off one thing at a time :) or I tell him to do things one thing at a time. They really cant seem to process it all and do it well and then they forget things! So Ive learnt to either do it myself (I think women have no choice but to multi-task cos err.. men cant?! lol) or get him to do it in stages. We laugh about it actually, he just finds it so funny and so do I most of the time LOl (except when Im struggling to cope and he hasnt caught up yet LOL He wld tell folks my wife looks after kids, cooks, does what domestic chores she can do, reads newspapers, maintains online support groups and friendships etc, prob at same time LOL he used to laugh that I'd be breastfeeding boys and then then b ready or on the phone, or organise things over the phone while still in hosp or something. He reckons I'd prob be like that when baby kieran finally decides to show up, I'd b organising something or another over the phone while in labour. Im glad he finds it a strength LOL I guess some men wld find it annoying or overbearing or feel left out cos the wife is doing it all.. or worse yet, think the wife is coping and then dont bother to help..

I cant tahan that leh.. Anyway I also couldnt b bothered to do the whole hinting thing or "you should b able to read my mind" routine.. I'd much rather say "Could u do that please?" "Im too tired to cook now, cld you do it or tapau" "Boys need their nappies changing etc" I hv to say he's a GREAT support and does so much, cant get thru things w.o him I reckon (or it wld be sooooooo much harder to) and he does try his best to give me time for myself, which he thinks is very imp cos its so easy to get caught up in just house/family and lose urself or even your relationship. admittedly we hvnt had any time of late to do our usual "make a date for just us!" dinner or something what wt the new house/baby coming etc. But it IS important I think, esp for a marriage. Cos if you dont maintain ur relationship/friendships/hobbies outside of the home/family, when the kids do leave the nest, u may end up thinking.. err... who is this person I thought I married.. ya know? Like my sis in law who does woodwork now (the one in UK), I think its great that she does and its better for her and her kids I think. After all, humans are multifaceted and cant just be simply defined by (a) Im a parent (b)Im married to so and so right? reading and writing for me works well, or just even going to support group meetings wt or w.o the kids and hubby. It's all good :) Makes things easier to deal wt dont ya reckon?

waaahhh I shld stop now LOL thats quite a long reaction to Jenn's article and unfortunately laundry beckons! (while the kids are in school, always good to do chores or catch up online haha). Before I end, CONGRATULATIONS to Alex and Lin on the birth of their daughter who was born 10/04 at 7:15am, weighing in at 2.93kg. Mum and daughter are doing well, YAY!

ok.. back to the mundane tasks of laundry and thinking abt what to do abt lunch and dinner, bfr the house is in chaos upon return of my two lovable rogues!

later days